Sent with every speech

How to deliver a wedding speech (or any speech)

This is the one-page sheet that goes out with every speech I write. It is stagecraft, not advice about anyone’s situation, and it is free to read whether or not you buy anything. Printable PDF.

Before the day

Read it aloud, standing up, three times. Not in your head. The first read finds the words you stumble on; change them to words you would actually say. The second read finds the pauses. The third is the one you keep.

Time it. A speech I write has the word count and the minutes printed at the end. Read it with a phone timer once. If you run long, you are rushing the pauses, not the words. If you are timing your own speech: most people speak at 130 to 150 words a minute in a room, slower than they read.

Print it large. Fourteen-point type, double spaced, on cards or a single folded sheet. Never your phone: the screen locks, the notification arrives, the glare hides the line. Number the cards.

Mark the breaths. Put a slash where you will pause, and a double slash before the toast. When you lose your place, the slashes bring you back.

On the day

Eat something. Drink water, not the champagne, until after. One glass before is fine. Two is a different speech.

Have the cards in your pocket from the start of the meal. Not in a bag at the other table.

When you stand, wait. Let the room settle. Count to three in your head before the first word. The wait feels endless to you and reads as confidence to everyone else.

While speaking

Slower than feels natural. Nerves make everyone fast. If you think you are going too slowly, you are about right.

Look at three people. One on the left, one in the middle, one on the right. Give each of them a sentence. Do not scan the room, and do not stare at the couple for the whole speech; they are the last people who need convincing.

Hands: hold the cards. That is what they are for. One hand on the cards, the other free. If the free hand does not know what to do, let it rest on the back of a chair.

After a laugh, wait for it to finish. The next line is lost if you talk over it. After a line that lands hard, the same: a full breath of silence, then continue.

If you lose your place, look down, find the slash, breathe, carry on. Nobody minds. Nobody remembers. If your voice goes, stop, take a sip of water, and say “give me a second.” The room is on your side; that pause will get a warmer response than any joke.

Do not apologise for the speech, before, during or after. “I’m not much of a speaker” tells the room to expect less. Skip it and begin.

The toast

Pick up your glass before the last paragraph, not during it. Then the double slash: pause, look up, raise it, say the names, and drink. Do not sit down until the room has finished.

And the speech itself

If you have the delivery sorted and the speech is the problem, that is what I do: custom occasion speeches written from your own stories, $30, in 48 hours, with this sheet in the envelope.